I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize