thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize