Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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