gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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