In the future we'll all be gay
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
