Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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