I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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