You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
