and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was confusing and full of hummus
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
