Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
