My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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