I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize