I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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