When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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