I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize