pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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