I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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