Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
