She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
