And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
