You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
