im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
