I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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