P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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