first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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