do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
