yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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