nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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