the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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