I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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