Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
