thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
love makes seman taste better
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
