I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
