Non-Jews are for practice
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
