It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize