We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
