quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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