She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
