it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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