she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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