Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
