My underwear smells like fireworks.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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