Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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