I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
