The maid of honor just puked.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize