But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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