I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
