He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
