I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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