just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize