Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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