When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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