So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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