I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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