are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
