I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
