My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
