I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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