Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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