I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
