i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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