i was born a porn star she said
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
