Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
