He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
