morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize