I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
